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Why Not Me? Hardcover – September 15, 2015

by Mindy Kaling (Author)

4.4 12,845 ratings

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#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • From the author of Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? and creator of The Mindy Project and Never Have I Ever comes a hilarious collection of essays about her ongoing journey to find contentment and excitement in her adult life.

“This is Kaling at the height of her power.”—USA Today

In Why Not Me?, Kaling shares insightful, deeply personal stories about falling in love at work, seeking new friendships in lonely places, attempting to be the first person in history to lose weight without any behavior modification whatsoever, and believing that you have a place in Hollywood when you’re constantly reminded that no one looks like you.

In “How to Look Spectacular: A Starlet’s Confessions,” Kaling gives her tongue-in-cheek secrets for surefire on-camera beauty, (“Your natural hair color may be appropriate for your skin tone, but this isn’t the land of appropriate–this is Hollywood, baby. Out here, a dark-skinned woman’s traditional hair color is honey blonde.”) “Player” tells the story of Kaling being seduced and dumped by a female friend in L.A. (“I had been replaced by a younger model. And now they had matching bangs.”) In “Unlikely Leading Lady,” she muses on America’s fixation with the weight of actresses, (“Most women we see onscreen are either so thin that they’re walking clavicles or so huge that their only scenes involve them breaking furniture.”) And in “Soup Snakes,” Kaling spills some secrets on her relationship with her ex-boyfriend and close friend, B.J. Novak (“I will freely admit: my relationship with B.J. Novak is weird as hell.”)

Mindy turns the anxieties, the glamour, and the celebrations of her second coming-of-age into a laugh-out-loud funny collection of essays that anyone who’s ever been at a turning point in their life or career can relate to. And those who’ve never been at a turning point can skip to the parts where she talks about meeting Bradley Cooper.

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Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

An Amazon Best Book of September 2015: In Why Not Me? Mindy Kaling has solidified her position as “most valuable friend.” Just like Mindy, these essays are exuberantly funny, deeply introspective and refreshingly thoughtful. From her relationship with BJ Novak and the guy who worked for the president, to creating her TV show and announcing the Emmy nominations, Mindy’s just-between-us-friends approach makes you love her just a little bit more after each story, and you’ll even question if Mindy is your soup snake. By all conventional measures Mindy Kaling should not be where she is, and that is the beauty of the stories she shares—“Work hard, know your shit, show your shit, and then feel entitled.” Accessible and empowering, Why Not Me? makes you want to stand up and shout, “Why not me, too?”--Deborah Bass

Review

“Kaling has written a second book that’s funnier, sharper and more confident than her 2011 collection of personal essays and pop culture riffs called Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns). Even the title of that initial effort implied that Kaling was trying to find her place; the tone of this new one announces that she’s found it and is more than comfortable inviting people to spend time with her there.”—Washington Post

“Funny, thoughtful essays and anecdotes written in the star’s trademark voice. But this time around, things are just little more grown-up…This is Kaling at the height of her power.”—USA Today

“Mindy Kaling may be gearing up for the fourth season of her TV show, The Mindy Project, but that didn't deter her from writing another wildly entertaining and completely relatable book… Her first memoir, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns), spent time on several best-seller lists. Why Not Me? will certainly follow in its footsteps.”—Associated Press

“Hilarious…Kaling knows her strengths, and plays to them brilliantly…Aside from that effortlessly conversational tone and her pitch-perfect humor, Kaling’s biggest strength here is curatorial. She gives us the candy we came for—the advice, the anecdotes, the straight talk on body image—but sprinkles in something extra.”—Entertainment Weekly, A-

“Why Not Me? is all that we've come to expect from the creator and star of The Mindy Project: refreshing, confident, genuine, and, yes, absolutely hilarious.” —Refinery29

“…insightful personal essays from one of Hollywood's cleverest writers… Intrepid and often irreverent, Kaling humbly probes her own triumphs and defeats with laugh-out-loud results”. —Kirkus Reviews

“Kaling's irreverent take on life is both uproariously funny and dead-on…Advice on a variety of topics—including why extensions make everyone more beautiful and how the world needs to start assuming that all young women are confident—make this an empowering and entertaining read.”—Publishers Weekly

About the Author

Mindy Kaling is an actor, writer, producer, and director. She currently writes and produces the Netflix original series Never Have I Ever, based on her own childhood. She also wrote, executive produced, and starred in the comedy series The Mindy Project. Before The Mindy Project, Mindy was best known for her work on the critically acclaimed, Emmy Award–winning NBC show The Office. In addition to directing, producing, and portraying celebrity-obsessed Kelly Kapoor, Mindy wrote eighteen episodes of the series, including the Emmy-nominated episode “Niagara.” Mindy was named one of Time magazine’s 100 most influential people in the world in 2012. In 2014, she was named one of Glamour’s women of the year.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

One evening last year, I was onstage at a Q&A in Manhattan hosted by a magazine to discuss my life and career. This was one of those fancy events where ticket prices are high, and there’s wine and cheese beforehand, and cocktails, but no real meal is served at any point. It made you wish you had just shushed the naysayers and brought three hot little sliders in your clutch to nibble at opportune moments. No one else seemed to mind the lack of food, though, because the theater was packed, primarily with an older, mostly white crowd.

I was very tired. I had filmed a full week on the show, traveled on a red-eye from Los Angeles, done press all day, and arrived at the theater. It would be the last hurdle before I could go back to my hotel, take off my pants, and eat a room-service club sandwich while I watched syndicated reruns of The Big Bang Theory. Sheldon’s sweetbazinga! would lull me to sleep, as is always my preference.

At the end of the interview, the moderator opened the floor to the audience. I noticed that the small group of people who lined up to ask me questions looked very different from the majority of the crowd. They were mostly young women of color. After a few people went, a young Indian girl stepped forward to take the microphone. She looked about fifteen, and not only out of place in that crowd but also a little young to be asking a question in front of such a big audience. I think she felt it, too, because I could see from the stage that she was shaking. After a moment of nervous silence, she asked, “Mindy, where do you get your confidence? Because I feel like I used to have it when I was younger but now I don’t.”

Context is so important. If this question had been asked by a white man, I might actually have been offended, because the subtext of it would have been completely different. When an adult white man asks me “Where do you get your confidence?” the tacit assumption behind it is: “Because you don’t look like a person who should have any confidence. You’re not white, you’re not a man, and you’re not thin or conventionally attractive. How were you able to overlook these obvious shortcomings to feel confident? ”

But this wasn’t coming from a white man. This was coming from a vulnerable young girl who thought that maybe, when I was her age, I too had faced similar obstacles. All she wanted was guidance, or maybe a little empathy.

My answer was not very good. My tiredness betrayed me, and I think I said something like: “Wow, I don’t know. I think it’s from my parents always telling me I could do anything. I wish I had a better answer for you.” I wished her good luck, and she nodded politely and said thank you.

When I get asked the same question over and over for years, the words of my answer begin to lose their meaning, even for me. Talking about confidence has become, to me, like listening to the flight attendant go through the in-flight passenger safety announcements. I could be leafing through a copy of American Way as I speak. I open my mouth and glib phrases like “supportive parents” and “strong sense of self” leak out. People seem mollified, but who knows? Maybe they are tuning me out too.

As I watched her walk back to her seat, a wave of guilty regret hit me. This girl had done a lot to summon up the courage to ask a question, and she didn’t even want anything in return other than my honest answer. She didn’t want a selfie or for me to read her script, or to call her cousin’s friend who loved The Office so she could tell me, “No, I loved Office Space. Were you in that? ” She just wanted me to give her practical advice, and I answered in a way that was technically true but did not offer a lot of insight. And everyone had been fine with it.

And that really sucks. Because then why am I even speaking on panels in the first place?

So this essay is for that girl who went out of her way to be vulnerable in front of so many people, to whom I gave such a shitty, unhelpful response. Because I’ve thought about it now and I have my real answer. Hopefully she hasn’t stopped liking me and moved on to Laverne Cox, though if she did, how could I blame her? She seems inspirational as hell and her legs are like whoa.

For the record, I, like everyone else, have had moments when I felt unattractive and stupid and unskilled. When I started at The Office, I had zero confidence. Whenever Greg Daniels came into the room to talk to our small group of writers, I was so nervous that I would raise and lower my chair involuntarily, like a tic. Finally, weeks in, writer Mike Schur put his hand on my arm and said, gently, “You have to stop.” Years later I realized that the way I had felt during those first few months was correct. I didn’t deserve to be confident yet. I happen to believe that no one inherently deserves anything, except basic human rights, and not to have to watch an ad before you watch a trailer on YouTube.

So here it is: Mindy Kaling’s No Fail, Always Works, Secret Guide to Confidence. This is why you spent your entire vacation reading this book instead of talking to your family.

Confidence is just entitlement. Entitlement has gotten a bad rap because it’s used almost exclusively for the useless children of the rich, reality TV stars, and Conrad Hilton Jr., who gets kicked off an airplane for smoking pot in the lavatory and calling people peasants or whatever. But entitlement in and of itself isn’t so bad. Entitlement is simply the belief that you deserve something. Which is great. The hard part is, you’d better make sure you deserve it. So, how did I make sure that I deserved it?

To answer that, I would like to quote from the Twitter bio of one of my favorite people, Kevin Hart. It reads:
My name is Kevin Hart and I WORK HARD!!! That pretty much sums me up!!! Everybody Wants To Be Famous But Nobody Wants To Do The Work!

HARD WORK; OR, THE THING NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT
People talk about confidence without ever bringing up hard work. That’s a mistake. I know I sound like some dour older spinster chambermaid on Downton Abbey who has never felt a man’s touch and whose heart has turned to stone, but I don’t understand how you could have self-confidence if you don’t do the work.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Crown Archetype; First Edition (September 15, 2015)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 240 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0804138141
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0804138147
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 13.4 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.75 x 1 x 8.5 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #417,430 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #870 in Love, Sex & Marriage Humor
- #951 in Humor Essays (Books)
- #3,604 in Actor & Entertainer Biographies

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4.4 12,845 ratings

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Mindy Kaling

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Mindy Kaling is an actor, writer, producer, and director. She wrote and stars in the film Late Night, and is currently at work on a collection of essays coming to Amazon Original Stories in summer 2020.

Mindy is the author of two New York Times best-selling memoirs, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me (And Other Concerns) and Why Not Me?, and recently starred in the film Ocean's 8. She's the writer and producer of the TV series Four Weddings and a Funeral, coming to Hulu in summer 2019, and is also working on a coming-of-age comedy series for Netflix.

She is known for her work as the creator and star of The Mindy Project, and for her years on the critically acclaimed, Emmy Award-winning NBC show The Office. In addition to producing, directing, and portraying the celebrity-obsessed Kelly Kapoor, Mindy's Office credits include writing the Emmy-nominated "Niagara," along with twenty-four other episodes.

Mindy was named one of Time magazine's 100 Most Influential People in the World in 2012. In 2014, she was named one of Glamour's Women of the Year.

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Alice

Take This Book and Love It.

Reviewed in the United States on September 16, 2015

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I absolutely loved Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?, and when I heard Ms. Kaling was writing another nonfiction book I was a little wary. Was there really new material she could have come up with in just four years? Was this the "b-list" collection of essays that weren't good enough to make it into her first book? Of course I would read it no matter what, but I resigned myself to be a little disappointed as soon as it arrived on my Kindle.
I wasn't disappointed in a single chapter. I would actually hazard to say that Why Not Me? is better than Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?, and I never thought I would say that. The humor is more consistent, the personal anecdotes go a little deeper, and the quick emotional punches ("What if I forget the sound of my mother's voice?" she lists as a fear she has while she lies awake at night) hit a little harder. I felt like IEHOWM? was like a conversation with a best friend, but as The Mindy Project once said--best friend isn't a person, it's a tier, and WNM? felt like I'd moved up a tier to have an even more intimate conversation with an even closer friend.
Unlike some other biographical essays by women in comedy, Why Not Me? has no pretentiousness and, beyond that, no pretense. There's a delightful sense throughout the book that Ms. Kaling is not here to prove anything, she's just here to chat. She willingly and cheerfully points her own flaws, but balances that with the (well earned) self-pride she's managed to make a hallmark of her public persona.
I always respected Ms. Kaling as a woman in comedy who puts up with unnecessary shaming of her appearance, comedy, personality, etc. After reading the chapters describing her day-to-day life, I have a newfound respect for all the work she does. The behind-the-scenes look at the work she puts in to running her show is fantastic as an intimate glance into the television-making process, as well as a nice little study of Mindy herself. I want to work for her, honestly.
I couldn't pick my favorite essays, but the standouts include: an essay where Mindy describes her romance with a presidential employee (maybe a Secret Serviceman, maybe just some kind of servant? I'm not entirely sure, but whatever); an essay about filming sex scenes (a moment with one co-star is described as "the sexiest thing that has ever happened to me, and, uh, YEAH, it's pretty sexy and great); an essay about the "alternate life" Mindy might have had, which evolves into a mini romantic comedy told through the emails and texts of private school teachers (Sam and Mindy forever!) and the title essay, which closes out the book. It's that last essay where she gets a little serious and talks about confidence, something she's often asked about, concluding that "confidence, like respect, has to be earned." I love that idea, because once confidence has been earned, nobody can take ti away from you, because they can't take away the accomplishments and work that gave you your confidence int he first place.
And yes, the humor is there. Mindy is great self-deprecating humor (Example: "I noticed my phone was dead and, in a desperate tone used only by women begging for their child's life, asked Will if he had a charger."). The transcript of a commencement speech she gave at Harvard Law had me cackling.
In short, if you liked Mindy's first book, buy this one immediately. I'm crossing my fingers than this becomes an every-four-years occurrence (and we'd better get a sequel to the Mindy and Sam story. I'm thinking Madeline the evil principal reveals an old torrid affair with Sam that almost ruins his relationship with Mindy?), because something tells me Mindy will never run out of things to say.

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CurlyGeek04

Kaling's second book is throughtful, fun and engaging.

Reviewed in the United States on November 29, 2015

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This is Kaling’s second book, and while I enjoyed the first one, this is a much better book. Kaling gives you a very good sense in this book of who she is as a person. The first part of the book focuses on the development of Mindy’s show, The Mindy Project, now in its third season. I’m a big fan of the show so I really enjoyed reading all the behind the scenes information.

I was perhaps most interested in the parts where she talks about self-confidence and body image. She admits that she doesn’t hate herself, and "some people really feel uncomfortable around women who don't hate themselves." She points out that it’s mildly insulting for everyone to focus so much attention on how she’s not “traditionally beautiful.” I can see that, but at least some of the reason I’m such a big fan is because she doesn’t look like most of the women on TV.

I also enjoyed Kaling’s description of her relationship with a political assistant to President Obama. I always wonder what DC looks like to those in Hollywood, and it was nice to know that going to a State dinner is at least as impressive as presenting on an award show.

This is a pretty light read but if you’re interested in television shows, comedy, or just Kaling herself, you should enjoy this book. Kaling writes in a really conversational way, like she’s talking to a friend. Sometimes I was pretty awestruck by her life but she also shares how hard she works, which is something we don’t see as viewers.

A lot of celebrity memoirs are all about trauma and how hard it is to be famous. Kaling has had a pretty good life and loves her parents, so you won’t find a lot of drama in her book. Just someone who has worked hard to attain her dream, someone who enjoys her life and her fame, and someone who actually doesn’t hate herself. And that makes her a great role model for the rest of us.

My full review is at http://thebookstop.wordpress.com.

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Lisa

I wasted no time diving into her second

Reviewed in the United States on January 11, 2016

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After devouring Mindy’s first book in two sittings, I wasted no time diving into her second, Why Not Me?

Why Not Me definitely has a different tone that her debut. And that wasn’t a bad thing at all. After all, Mindy had matured in age, in wisdom, and certainly in experience, so naturally so did her writing.

I didn’t find myself laughing out loud as much, and yet I loved this, in many ways, even more than her first. Again, there is this relatability to her writing. As if you aren’t just one of Mindy’s fans or readers or even close friends. It’s like she is you long-lost sister.

Mindy continues to share details of her life and how she has gotten to where she is. But she also opens her heart up even more widely and invites us in. To her fears. To her desires. And even to things she isn’t all that proud of. She is honest and I found myself nodding in agreement to so much of what she talks about.

This isn’t just a light and fluffy book of comedic essays about life. While, yes, she has a very quirky and fun sense of humor, she also tackles a lot of serious issues – bullying, body image issues, finding true love, and balancing work and life, as well as many other issues.

Mindy is a talented. Period. And so very driven. She has the very unique way of inspiring and touching us deeply, while simultaneously giving us a smile and a chuckle.

Why Not Me? was a compelling, insightful, and provocative look inside the amazing life of a truly amazing person. I hope that she will continue to share her story with us. I have to admit that I was a little taken aback when I reached the end. I wanted, no needed, more Mindy.

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G. Bindu Rao

Refreshing and hilarious.

Reviewed in India on July 10, 2022

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I loved how candid the book was and how she was herself throughout. If you've watched The Mindy Project or any of her work I would recommend you to get this book already. It is a perfect mix of wit,humor and you feel like you are living this wonderful journey with her.

Cliente de Amazon

Muy entretenido

Reviewed in Mexico on November 29, 2018

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Entretenido.

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Elisabetta

Molto carino

Reviewed in Italy on January 1, 2019

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Regalo aprezzato, libro pieno di aneddoti sulla vita di Mindy e di dritte sulla vita. Perfetto per i fan.

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Carolina

Mindy Kaling en su esencia pura

Reviewed in Spain on January 9, 2018

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Cuando compre este libro, lo compré porque me gusta la autora como actriz, ya que sigo su serie The Mindy Project. No sabía muy bien como sería, pero me encata. Es Mindy en su esencia, con gran humor y gracias, hace un repaso de su vida y ofrece su opinión sobre distintos temas de la vida cotidiana.
No paro de reir, es genial. Definitivamente quiero comprarme el otro libro que tiene.

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-Julia-

Auch für nicht Mindy-Kaling-Fans eine wirklich gute Lektüre

Reviewed in Germany on August 27, 2018

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Ich kannte Mindy Kaling nur vom Hören-Sagen, habe mir dann aber wegen einer längeren Wartezeit das Buch Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) gekauft und erzählt von der Kindheit von Mindy Kaling bis zu ihrer Zeit als erfolgreichen Schauspielerin.
Das Buch "Why Not Me?" darf man nicht als Nachfolgewerk betrachten, sondern eher als Ergänzung zum vorherigen Buch.
Wäre die Autorin nicht so unheimlich sympathisch, würde sich für ihr Buch wahrscheinlich keiner interessieren außer wirklich eingefleischte Fans.

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